Contemplative

I think sometimes we don't realize that everyone can be at a crossroads in their life just in a different way than we are right now. There are the people that are middle age, divorced and want to find a companion again? They have nice things, good kids, good job, but still want something more and even though I envy alot of things this person has, this person envies what I have too? I never thought about it that way and realize, wow!, even though sometimes I feel like I don't have alot to be envious of that even the things we think are so small can be important. Then I remember that my wonderful relationship with my husband is not small, it is sooo big, sooo important and something that others can envy. I forget that even though we are living in someone's basement, don't own many nice things, don't do lavish things or have a lavish lifestyle that the simple things in life are really what everyone wants the most. They want a place to call home(no matter how big or small), a loving partner, healthy children, a job you stand to go to everyday, family, friends, and God.

Lately, I have really felt like I am ready for us to move on and find our own place, but I need to make sure that God this happens on God's time, not ours. Figuring that out sometimes I think is really hard, knowing that you are doing God's will? I pray for that more and more that I can know what God's plan in our life is going to be and to follow it. I want to make good decisions for my family and be an example to my friends that may not know Him that well. To show others that when you follow the Lord's plan everything will turn out ok!

Madison's First Year

Now, my baby girl is ONE YEAR OLD!!! I do not know where the time has gone!!! She has two bottom teeth starting to work their way in, walking all over the place, and says a handful of words including Elmo(which sounds more like Melmo)!!! Raymon finally went back to work last week with no restrictions from his dr. on his wrist! His first week was pretty mellow which is nice, b/c this week has been harder. Nice to know there are good employers out there that wouldn't get rid of someone even though they had to be out for awhile. Last weekend we celebrated Madi's first birthday! We cooked out hamburgers and hotdogs, sat on the deck, opened lots of presents and ate bunches of Elmo cupcakes!!! We had a blast b/c everyone that meant so much to us were able to come, even the out of towners. Madi's fav present was definitely her plush little Elmo couch(thanks Kristen and Pete)!!! She sits on it ALL the time!!! She also started carrying around a baby doll and hugging and kissing it, so sweet :) We are so blessed and still love where we live. We have decided to start looking around at houses that we would get into by ourselves(parents cannot get anything they want for there house so for now we are going in one solo). We hopefully can get financing and look for a house around 100,000 that just needs a little work. Praying that God will help us find the right place and the right price! I hope we continue to grow as Christians and be the people and parents God wants us to be!!!!

Things are looking up

So, right after I posted my last blog we moved to our new place. On the day we moved Ray fell out of the back of the Uhaul and broke his wrist. It was a blow we were not ready for. He was going to be out of work for 6 weeks at least! Praise the Lord for short term disability(if you don't have you should get it)!!! We were just really concerned, b/c he had only been at his job for six months and they had already laid people off and were down to the bare minumum on workers, but God does provide. His bosses just told him to take it easy and don't worry! What a relief! After working at such a crappy job for 8 years you expect your job to always treat you crappy, but luckly his new job is pleasantly different. There is a reason God gave him that job! So, Ray has hung at home with Madi and I for 6 weeks! It has been really good, but sometimes we get on one anothers nerves! Today, though, he went and got his cast off and can head back to work now(only on light duty, no lifting). No surgery, no pt!!! PRAISE GOD!!!! Also, we really like our new place! We have so much more space and now that Madi is somewhat mobile(she pushes everything around) it is so nice to be here! We are close to my parents, closer to church, and closer to most friends! Now we are thinking about Madi's 1st birthday, which sounds crazy to even say! I cannot believe my baby girl will be one!!!! This year has FLOWN by!!!! She is the love of my life and sooo beautiful!!! We are soooooo blessed! Another nice change has happened. I have started baby-sitting once a week for an old, church friend I grew up with. It is good money and I get to take Madi with me! No more waiting tables and being away from my fam, 2 thumbs up! So, are lives have changed alot over these past 6 weeks, but in a very good way. We are blessed to have a great, FREE place to live, a wonderful marriage, a beautiful daughter, supportive friends and family and a great church family!!! GOD IS GOOD!!!!

2009, Man what a Year!!!!

2009, is almost over! It has been a heck of a year for us! We had the best thing ever happen to us when our daughter, Madison, was born. There were some crummy things that happened too. We gave up our house, filed bankruptcy, and had to learn to accept lots of help. This year I think has been a life changing year for me. I have learned that things are of no use, I still like things though, don't get me wrong. To be happy you just need your loved ones around you, support from friends, and a "home". I definitely had to rethink what I knew that I needed in life to be happy, but found so many blessings along the way. I know that God is here for me and my family and having his love go with me everywhere I go is so much more than I could ever ask for. Having a husband that changed his career, worked his ass off to support us, gave up the home he bought for us, and got through it has made me soooo proud. He helped me sooo much when Madi was born. If not for him I think I would have gone crazy. I know that sounds sad to say now, but it is hard to enjoy your newborn baby when you are a worry-wart and you don't know when you are going to be able to pay bills, and if your husband will ever find a job. We have figured out that the people who truly love you, will be there for you when you really, really need it. These are the people in my life that words cannot express the gratitude we have for them. We learned that it is ok to accept help, after being sooo self sufficient for so long. It has been hard. Then you have to realize that God put these people in your life for a reason and you need to accept there help. You never know the blessing you are to them and the blessing that others will see from their giving and your acceptance. I love my life, even if I don't own a home, I have crappy credit, I have no money in savings and not sure when things are gonna change. God still blesses me and my family everyday. I have the most beautiful, wonderful baby girl in the world. I have a husband that loves and supports me. I have parents that support and give us sooo much. I have great friends and church family. I may not be rich by the worlds standards, but in our way we absolutely are loaded!!!!

More Changes: Heart does not equal Head

So.... we have been soooo blessed to be living in such a great place and with people who are truly good friends. Now we have been given another good offer. Our youth leader, from when we were growing up, has offered to let us move into her basement apt. PROS: It is FREE, it is bigger than where we are at now, will be 2 mins from my parents, probably have a better time getting back to work, will be in the area we are going to get our own house at, will have a dishwasher, a dining room table, our own washer and dryer and possibly extra room to put the baby's bed in. CONS: We are really happy where we are at and love our friends and their girls.
I know this is the right decision, but my heart is not in it. We have been sooo much happier than I ever thought we would be here that I am sooo scared to mess it up. With it being free though we can save up money towards getting our own house with my parents. Everyone I talk to thinks this is the best decision for us and our family. Again, in my head know that it is the right decision, but my heart hurts a little. Our friends we stay with gave us a place of our own when no one else did and I will be forever grateful!!! I love me some Whaley's!!!!

Prayers for upcoming changes

We had a great first Halloween for Madi and a first Thanksgiving! She was a pooh flower for Halloween and had a great outfit with a turkey hat for Thanksgiving. I am soooo thankful to have her in my life!!! We over the holidays after alot of discussion with my parents have decided something. My parents are going to try and sell their house after the first of the year and then get a new big house we can all share. Something with an in-law suite in the basement for them and the upstairs for us. This will be sooo helpful so that each family is paying half the mortgage and half the bills. It will help us especially now so we can get our own place sooner, but help my parents later on so my dad doesn't have to worry about working and my mom can sometime retire. We are just asking for prayers that this is God's will and the right decision for all of us. We are all really excited, but want this to be in God's plan. First, we have to sell my mom and dad's house and hope there is still some equity in it for the next house and also find a new bigger house, in Lilburn, with an in-law suite and in a good price range. I know that with prayer and God's will this can all happen. So, pray for us that this can happen and we can make this work. I have great parents and know this can help all of us soooo well!!!!

Almost done

So, we officially filed our bankruptcy and gone to court for it. Pending any weirdness we shouldn't be asked to sell anything off. The court experience wasn't bad. She just asked and few questions and sent us on our way. Tomorrow, Ray, Jason, Chad and my dad are going to finish getting everthing out of our old house and put in storage. We will go over on Monday and make sure we are good to go. It will be soooooo nice for that to be done. Just something big hanging over our heads. Then it will feel like a chapter in our lives is closed and we can work on moving on. We can work on saving some money, paying off our parents and hopefully in a year or so finding a new house. I am perfectly havppy where we are at for now. Our friends are so good to us. They share dinner with us often, let us take over their basement and are concerned when we are not home. It is just nice to have people care about you so much. I hopefully will go back to work in a few weeks and get a new routine down. All of this in a sense stinks, but I have a great life. I have the best baby girl in the world and never realized I could love her soooo much. In a mild comparison, it is like Christmas morning when you wake up and see that sweet face. Even the times she keeps you up all night you still don't feel resentful at her or anything. It is a relationship that is so innocent and fresh. I just loving being her mother and she is my everything. Also, I have a WONDERFUL husband. He has been working his regular job, working part time 24 hr shifts and still packing up our old house. He does so much so I can stay home with our baby and I love him for it. I cannot believe how lucky and blessed I am. God will always take care of us and he loves us so much. One of my fav bible verses is Ephesians 1:11: It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. If weren't for him we wouldn't have a purpose and I try to remember to thank him for that everyday!!!!!