Motherhood

So as much as I realize I am a mother now, it was really strange when someone at my work last week told me to have a good first Mother's Day. Even still on the day I was thinking mainly about this day was for my mother. I made sure to give her a mother's card and a grandmother's card from Madison. I made sure to write her a nice note to tell her how much I love and appreciate her and she had to hold back her tears. Even though with our finances so skint at the moment I told Ray not to get me a present, but he did get me some great cards. One from him and one from Madison. He does a great job at picking cards, they always seem so perfect. This day that I am now part of is the greatest club to be apart of. I love this little girl more than I could ever realize and somehow the more days I spend with her the more and more I love her. I don't want to be away from her at all. She is the reason I am on this Earth and I am sure of that more than I am anything. I hope I can be half the mother my mom is to me. I hope I give her so much love she always feels complete and happy. My mom has done this for me. I love how I am the one that knows how to get her to sleep, how she likes to be held, how to get her to "talk" to me and I am the one that's feeding her. I love being her mother, and it's hard to believe in months to come I will hear her call me that sweet name of mama. I now realize so many things don't matter anymore. I don't care if we have lots of things, I just want her and Raymon and I to be together and healthy. I am a new person, with a new life and I love it!!!

Learning to Listen

These past couple of weeks have been the best and some of the most trying all at the same time. My baby girl has made me feel so fulfilled and happy. My husband loosing his job and having such a hard time finding a new one has been hard to swallow. I am really trying to see the pros that will come out of this situation. There has to be a message or a lesson here? I know that God is trying to tell us or show us something. We just being the earthly people that we are, are having a hard time listening. That is what I am trying to work on. I know that God is working through us in some way and I want to be so open for whatever he has in store for us. I want all the blessings that he will provide for us. So I pray today that I can learn to listen to God better. I know the more I pray, fellowship and read his word I will hear so much better. I pray I can be the servant he wants me to be!!!